The girl who wanted a husband with two peckers

Момата што сакала маж со две чешала

Once there was a girl from a wealthy home, and she was her mother's and father's only child. Since she was their only child, the girl was spoiled rotten. Everything she saw she wanted for herself. She didn't want anyone in the village to have something she didn't have. To put it another way, the girl was just like brother George in the song, the one who wanted everything beautiful to be his. She was so stuck-up that she didn't even want to get married, for she didn't want a husband like all the other women had. The girl let it be known that she would marry only someone who didn't resemble any other man, and said:

"I will marry only if I find a lad with two peckers!"

There was no such man, and no one had ever heard of one. The girl remained unwed, while all her friends had children already.

A poor young man from another village heard about the girl's foolish desire. He was very clever, and devised a plan to marry the girl and thus free himself from poverty. The youth took a walking stick in hand and set off to see the girl. Without beating around the bush, he said to her:

"Hey, girl, I've heard that you are seeking such and such a man for a husband. I have two: one big, and one small! The girls in my village don't want me, but if you do, let's get married."

"Is it true, you have two?" the girl asked joyfully. "If it's true, I'll agree to marry you." The youth was good looking and he pleased the girl, so they were quickly married. After the wedding, when they lay down to sleep together, the girl saw that he had only one prick. She became angry and asked him:

"You told me that you had two, but I see only one. Where is your other one? You lied to me, didn't you?"

"I didn't lie to you, dear wife. I have two, but I loaned one to our priest."

The foolish bride believed him, and since they were able to do it with only one prick, she calmed down.

Time passed. One day the young man went to work somewhere, and he had to be away for several days. The young bride was left alone. She could no longer stand it without her husband, and so she thought she would go to the priest to ask him for her husband's other prick. Immediately she went off to see the priest.

"Well, young bride, what brings you here?"

"Father, I'll tell you truthfully, but you mustn't be angry. Since my husband isn't here, I've come to ask you to return the prick he lent you."

The priest already knew what sort of husband she had sought, and he realized what was going on. When he realized what the bride was up to, he said to her:

"Young bride, don't worry. What I have borrowed I will respectfully return to you. This was the agreement I made with your husband. Well, lie down and I'll return it to you."

They did it beautifully, and the bride went home quite satisfied. That evening her husband returned. As soon as he came through the door she hurried to him and said:

"So, husband, I thought you were clever, but you are really very stupid. If you had to lend the priest a prick, why did you have to give him the better one?"