The three brothers and the priest's daughter

Тројцата браќа и попската ќерка

There were three brothers who lived together with their father. They had a lot of property: they had sheep, large fields, everything. A time came when the old man fell ill and died. They divided everything up. Each one got two hundred sheep. The first brother tended the sheep for some time, and finally got bored and decided to sell them. And one day he went out.

"Well, brothers, I'm going to sell the sheep. I'm fed up with them. I'm going to the market today, and perhaps I'll be lucky enough to get a bit of money."

And he led out the sheep. He passed along one street when he chanced to see a woman sweeping in the courtyard, and what she had was worth seeing, if you understand! He yelled out:

"Sheep for sale, sheep for sale!"

The priest heard him. She had a priest for a father.

"How much are you selling them for?"

"Well, father, I'm not selling them for money but for a woman!"

"Come here, if that's what you want. Come here, I have a daughter, come to an agreement with her."

He says to his daughter:

"Daughter, this is the situation..."

"Well, father, I'm going outside," she said.

The daughter goes out.

"How much money?"

"What's this, 'how much money'? Let me stuff it in you once, that's enough.'"

"Come on, then!"

He goes into the room, they lay down there, he stuffs it in once, and it comes out.

"Well," he says, "how about some more?"

"You said only once."

There was nothing the man could do, so he went home cleaned out. When he got home his brothers asked:

"Brother, did you sell the sheep?"

"I sold them. I made a great profit."

The next day the next brother said:

"Ah, I, too, am fed up with tending sheep. I'll sell them, too."

He goes to the very same place. He begins calling from a distance:

"Sheep for sale, sheep for sale, who wants to buy them?"

The priest comes out:

"How much do you want?" he said.

"I'm not selling them for money, only for a woman..."

"Come on, then. I have a daughter; bargain with her." The priest goes to his daughter and says to her:

"This is the situation.… Another fool. Let's fix this one, too."

He looks into the courtyard and sees his brother's sheep.

"Ah," he says to himself, "this is where my brother sold his sheep!"

He goes inside.

"How much money do you want for the sheep?" she asked him.

"I don't want any. I just want to lie with you once."

"Come on in."

They lie down.

"Well, come on, give."

"What do you mean 'give'? You said you only wanted to lie with me!"

"What's this? I didn't give you the sheep for nothing. I said I wanted to fuck you."

"No, you only said that you were going to lie with me! And so you've lain with me, now you can get up and go home, and that's it!"

The poor guy got up and went home cleaned out. His brother says to him:

"So, did you sell them?"

"Yeah, I sold them, brother, and made quite a profit."

"Well, what happened?"

"I got good money."

The older brother laughs, because he knows that he, too, had been cheated.

On the third day, the youngest brother says:

"I'm going off today to sell my sheep, too. I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to live like you."

He goes out and leads the sheep down that same street. From a distance he sees four hundred sheep! That's no small amount, you know! He saw them from a distance.

"Aha," he says to himself, "this is where my brothers sold their sheep!"

"Sheep for sale! Hey, father, do you have anyone at home?"

"I do, I do. How much are you selling the sheep for?"

"I know how much I'll sell them for, but who will buy them. Let your daughter come out and we'll bargain."

The daughter comes out.

"How much money do you want for the sheep?"

"Well, sister, I don't want anything, I just want to stick it in you!"

"Come here!"

She takes him in. That evening there was conversation, food, drinking. The time came to go to bed, he lay down with her and stuck it in her. In the morning, she is waiting for him to get up, and he just lies there.

"Hey, come on, get up!"

"Hold on, our agreement was that I could stick it in!"

Then she waits, one day, two, three, a week, two weeks... He won't pull it out. You understand, shepherd's way of doing things. God forbid that you should run into him!

The priest came in:

"Well, daughter!"

"Father, there is nothing I can do! Get the servants to throw him out with his things."

The man grabbed on to her and won't let her go. The servants moved him out onto the street, bed and all, thinking that he would get embarrassed there and would get off of her. But he just lies there, not in the least bit ashamed! In the morning a certain friend from his village passes by:

"Hey, Stojan," he said to him, "come over here I want to tell you something."

"What is it, brother?"

"I beg you, send greetings to my brother. Tell him to plant the large upper meadow with watermelons. When they ripen, tell him to bring a bite to eat. I've burned up lying here in the sun."

"Alas, daughter, you won't get up for another two years! I think we better forgive him everything. Take him for your husband, and we'll take him home! We can't live with this shame," the priest said.

They took him - bed, woman, and all - and carried him home.

"Well," the priest says to him, "why don't you get up, you can have the six hundred sheep, my entire property, and take her for your wife. Stay here as my son-in-law, as long as we don't have to suffer this shame!"

"Whatever you say, father. This is fine with me, too. I can lie here longer."

And so, he gets off of her, and decides to stay there.

He says to his brothers:

"You fools, here are your sheep! See what a man I've become! Even got myself a wife."

And they had a real nice wedding.