Feminine wiles

Женска итрост

A peasant youth went to a foreign land, to a city, and walked around town seeking work. He wandered from store to store, and came upon a barbershop. There he stopped to look at himself in the large mirror that was in the shop. The barber, since he didn't have a customer, called the youth into the store and asked him who he was and where he had come from. The youth told him that he came from a distant place and that he had come to this city to try his luck, to find some sort of work. After he had tested him thoroughly and learned that he was a real simpleton, that he could be lied to, and that he could get something from the youth, the barber worked something out in his head. Since the youth was just the right age, his body was really great, and his face was like an apple from Tetovo, peaches and cream, his eyebrows were black as the blackest ram, the barber said to him:

"Listen now, young man! I see you've come to a foreign land to find some kind, any kind of work. Well, listen to what I tell you to do, and you'll earn easy money. But, you should know, whatever you earn today, we'll split it. And now I'll buy you the nicest clothes. Now, listen to me, young man, so that one day you may say of me, 'God bless him'!"

"Fine, master, I'll do it," the foolish youth said to him. "I'll listen to everything you tell me, only some of the money I earn I have to send to my mother, back in the province."

"That's fine. Now have patience and you'll see how much money we'll make. Come over here now, I'll shave you and give you a trim, and then I'll take you to the bazaar and buy you a good set of clothes," the barber said to him and shaved him, dressed him up like some sort of bridegroom, and he was something for you to see. Since he was already so good-looking, and after the barber had cleaned him up with a shave and a trim, put some nice clothes on him, there was no one else like him in the entire city. Whoever saw him would fall in love with him. He brought him to a fountain and seated him on a stone where the women were washing clothes.

"Now sit here, lad," the barber said to him. "Whenever a woman comes to get water from this fountain, look her straight in the eye, and make yourself attractive. When one of them waves to you, get up and go home with her. If she tells you to service her, don't do it until she gives you two handfuls of money."

When the youth sat on the stone, the women started coming, and each of them would take a good look at his beauty, and at the same time, he'd look at each one in turn, straight in the eye. A woman happened to come by and waved at him with her hand. The youth got up and she secretly took him home and gave him a handful of money. Then he brought it to the barber at the barbershop, and there they divided the money.

"So, young man, didn't I tell you we'd earn some money? So, when the woman let you go, what did she say to you?"

"She told me to come again tomorrow and she'd give me another handful of money."

"And where was the gate in this place, huh?"

"The gate was to the right of the outdoor oven, as you walk in."

"And when you walked into the courtyard, what was there?" the barber said to him.

"There was a large grape arbor, and under the arbor was a fountain with two spigots, but no water pouring out," the youth told him.

When the barber heard this, it was as if a serpent bit him. According to the youth's description, it was his house, and it was his wife who had given the youth money.

"Oh you damned woman," he said to himself, "just wait, oh what I'll do to you, if I catch you in the game you've started!"

Early the next morning he sent the youth off to the woman who had called him, and then he ran after him. When the youth came near to gate and went in, the barber was astonished since he thought his wife was the most honorable of all the women in the city. He came running to the gate, pushed to open it, but since it was locked, he banged on it as hard as he could. When his wife heard the door knocking, she rolled the youth in a mat and stood him up in a corner so that he couldn't move.

"Be quiet, lad," she said to him, "until I get rid of the man who has come!" After she got him fixed up she went to open the gate. The barber was furious. He locked the gate with a key, grabbed a stick, and began to search here and there in the house. He looked everywhere, left no place untouched. He was all in sweat, and angry because he couldn’t find the youth.

"Say, husband," the wife said to him, "what is this state you're in today? Are you looking for something? Tell me, perhaps I know something about it?"

He didn't say a word, he just looked everywhere, but it never occurred to him to look in the matting. Realizing that he didn't find anything, he thought to himself that maybe he hadn't come to his gate. Silently, he returned to the shop and waited for the youth to come and tell him where he had been. After she had sent off her husband, the barber's wife let the youth out of the mat and again sent him off with a handful of money.

"There, lad, do you see how we're earning money with this trick I taught you?"

"It's great, master, thank you very much," the youth said to him, "but you should know what problem I got into today."

"What problem was this, huh? Tell me, let me hear it."

"It was a big problem, master. This woman, really, she's a living devil. As soon as I got inside, someone knocks at the gate, and she wraps me up in a mat and sticks me in a corner. 'Stay here,' she said to me, 'just until I can get rid of this man who has come!' Supposedly, the man was her husband. He must've figured it out. He grabbed a stick and began to search throughout the whole house. He left no place unturned. However, it didn't occur to him to look in the mat. If he had found me he would have fed me to the dogs. I was really scared, master! He looked and looked and didn't find me, so he left, and the wife let me out of the mat, and then she gave me another handful of money and told me to come again tomorrow."

When the barber heard these words it was as if a bullet had struck him. He didn't breathe a word. He was so angry; he was silent and thought of what he would do to his wife the next day.

The following day he sent the youth off to his wife again and then ran after him to see if he was really going to his house. He saw that he really did go into his gate. He went up to the gate and knocked. As soon as his wife heard him, she hid the youth in the chimney, she opened the door for her husband, and again he began to search. He looked and looked, and didn't leave any place untouched. It never occurred to him to look in the chimney.

"Say, husband," his wife said to him, "why are you doing all this through the house yesterday and today?"

"What do you mean, why I'm doing this, you whore? Where's the young guy who just came in here?"

"Oh Lord, Lord, I beg you! What has taken my husband's mind? Oh husband, my dear, don't act like a child, and don't sin and accuse me! Is that what you take me for, huh, husband? Husband, don't, don't act like an immature child. Don't slander your wife's name for the whole world to laugh at you. People wait for you to give yourself a bad name. Then you’ll be sorry. So, I beg you: go back to the shop and forget this business!"

The wretched barber decided to go back to the shop.

The barber's wife let the youth out of the chimney and again gave him a handful of money and asked him to come to her again the next day.

The youth went to the barber at the store, gave him the money the barber's wife had given him, and said to him:

"Master, here's the money the woman gave me today. The husband came again today. Someone must have told him, that's why he came looking for me. He looked everywhere, but it didn't occur to him to look in the chimney, so I was saved. If it had occurred to him to look there, he would have found me, and I would have really taken a beating, God was watching out for me."

"And when the woman let you out, what did she say to you?"

"She told me to come again tomorrow, master!"

The next day the youth went off, and when the barber knocked at the door she hid the youth in a trunk. The barber went inside and began to look. He looked and looked, left no place unturned, but it didn't occur to him to look in the trunk.

"Ah," he said, "has this woman so obviously blinded me this much? I'll burn the house down, and I won't leave him behind this time."

He ran to the threshing floor, took some hay, and lit all four sides of the house. The woman shrieked, tore her hair, and cursed her husband:

"Hey husband, you're going crazy. What is this craziness you're doing, lighting the house on fire for no good reason? It’s fine if you want to burn your things, but why should you burn mine, the things I brought from my father, the trunk full of clothes? Come on, you wretched thing, let's at least get the chest with my clothes out of there. Let's at least save my clothes, so I won't have to send you off to get me new ones tomorrow!" When the barber heard these words from his wife, he ran over and he and his wife grabbed the trunk with her clothes (but the youth was inside), and dragged it out.

After the house had burned down, the barber said to himself: "So, now I've even burned the house down, but I also got to the bottom of it with my wife! Let her mess around with me if she can!"

He returned to the shop and felt at peace. It wasn't an hour later when up comes the youth. When he sees him, he stares in amazement.

"Hey there, master, I almost burned to death, if the man and his wife hadn't carried me out in the trunk when they burned down the house."

"Get out of here, young man, go back where you came from. I got what I deserved," the barber said to him.