Damned poverty

Пуста сиромаштија

There once was a young man. He went out one day and not having anything else to do, he devised a plan: he took some paint and painted his cock. He placed himself on a village road and waited for a woman to pass by. A woman approached, he lay on his back, he got his stripe-painted cock hard, and lie there as if he were sleeping. When the woman passed by and saw him she wondered:

"And what can this be?" she said. She tossed a small stone at him and continued on her way as if it were nothing.

Immediately he jumped up and called to her:

"Wait a minute!"

She stopped and simply laughed. He said to her:

"Why did you hassle me when I didn't hassle you?"

"Oh," she said, "excuse me, I didn't mean anything by it. I only wondered, I've seen all kinds, but I’ve never seen painted one like that! And what can it be?"

And he said to her:

"First let me ask you, what sort of a woman are you, are you poor, rich, or super rich?"

"I'm a poor woman," she answered him.

"Do you have a husband?"

"Yes, I have a husband."

"Well then, this is really good for you."

"I’m listening."

"This painted thing, when I put it into a woman up to the first notch, she will be semi-rich, she'll give birth to a semi-rich child. If I put it in up to the second notch, the child will be very rich. But if I put it in up to the third notch, there will be a very poor child."

And she said to him:

"Let's go hide off the road somewhere, and then put it into me up to the semi-rich. We're poor, at least let my child have a little wealth. Let him have an advantage."

They hid off the road somewhere and he told her:

"I charge money for everything."

"Hey, what do you mean you charge money?"

"Well, for a semi-rich, I charge less. For a very rich-more, and for a poor one I don't charge anything."

And she agreed. When they began, he put it in her only up to the semi-rich notch. It made her feel good, and she said:

"Mmm, give it to me up to the very rich, let it be that one. Push it up to the second notch!"

When he put it up to the second notch, she got really hot.

"Ooooh, oh Lord!" she said. "Give me the whole thing, perhaps something will come of it..."

And when he had jammed the whole thing inside he said:

"Oh, damned poverty, now you know why you are poor!"